Saturday, April 27, 2024
One of the true blessings in life is friendship. It is a relationship between two people and, often, the underlying bond between the individuals is vague in definition. A friendship nourishes one’s soul, can often rekindle memories of a different and better time, or help us to feel connected in what is all too often a world where we do not feel engaged. Friendship is a condition humans seek because it provides us with acceptance, recognition, and the warmth of shared experiences.
An evaluation of our friendships tells us a lot about ourselves.
Grade school friends are generally our first relationships outside the family circle. Created on the playgrounds of youth, these relationships help us to ingratiate ourselves into a series of social norms and to pass through life’s early challenges feeling supported. They helped us put into practice those virtues expounded by our parents about being fair, kind, sharing, and forgiving. It was grade school friends who helped us to understand life in our own terms while facing whatever joys or tribulations might confront us.
When picking teams for a stickball game, friendship presented the challenge of selecting the best player for your team but to do so in a way as to artfully navigate the dilemma of failing to select a close friend, because they were a poor hitter. Such a decision compelled the art of social diplomacy at a level not unlike what is utilized by ranking state department officials.
As we grew just slightly older, our relationships evolved and the possibility of friendship with a member of the opposite sex became a possibility. Though previously looked on with disdain and contempt, it necessitated being able to recategorize girls as “human beings” instead of a species which must have come from another planet. It meant finding a common ground in which to talk and interact. I learned starting a friendship with a girl meant meeting her “halfway” and taking an interest in what she liked and learning to accept there were possibilities beyond sports and the usual things which were the heart of a young boy’s life. It meant learning to accept my female friend was different from me in many ways. Her interests were not necessarily sports, climbing a tree, or challenging each other about who could spit the furthest. It was learning to accept there was more in life than what my world had previously thought possible.
Later in life there are “activity” friends — so named because of the activity the two friends share. I have had hunting buddies, fishing buddies, going to the ball game buddies, poker buddies, lake buddies, and who knows how many other kinds of buddies. While the two of us friends would engage about the other goings on in our lives, the friendship primarily revolved around an activity we participated in together. It was an activity which was the connecting force. These types of relationships can create wonderful memories, but unfortunately, usually end when participation in the underlying activity stops.
There are also work friends, church friends, college friends, and a host of other types of human relationships, which are loosely categorized as friends. But no matter the shape or form of the connection, it is part of the thread which weaves our life into the tapestry it becomes. Sometimes, positively, and, sometimes, negatively, we are all a product of our friendships.
Our closest friendships, commonly referred to as “best friends,” are often a combination of all the possibilities of friendship. They listen when a friend needs to talk. They speak out when a friend needs to be corrected. They support when there is doubt. The relationship may be a daily interaction, or it might be that the two friends do not speak for months, or even years, but the connection between them never disappears. It is a feeling which is kindled in the very soul of the other and shared. It connects the two in such a way that no power on earth could pull it apart. These are the most cherished and treasured of relationships.
This week, stop and reflect on all your friends and how your lives are entwined with one another. Smile at the joys you have shared and the emotion you feel. It is those feelings and experiences that make you the person you have become. Give thanks to those who have endured your shortcomings, listened to your complaints and sorrows, and who have smiled and leapt in joy upon learning of your successes.
Friendship is truly one of the best parts of being a human being.
Thought for the day: “I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” Helen Keller
Until next time…I will keep ridin’ the storm out!
