Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Trios are complicated

Posted

Dear Frankie,

A couple of months ago, my mom's friend asked if her dog Rags could ride with us to the park. The first day my mom and I drove over to pick up Rags, she said I should be sure to introduce Rags to the other dogs.

Honestly, she didn't need to remind me. I know how uncomfortable it feels to be a newcomer in a group. The first dog I introduced Rags to was Breeze, my best friend forever. They liked one another right away. I tried to introduce Rags to the rest of the gang, but she said she was happy to talk to Breeze.

In the beginning, I was pleased that Rags and Breeze hit it off. Then I noticed that whenever the three of us were together, Breeze talked mostly to Rags and vice versa. Lately, they have started whispering to one another and walking off without asking me to come along.

When I asked them about it, Rags got defensive and said she didn't know what I was talking about. Breeze said, “Here you go again, making trouble and a mountain out of a molehill.”

I couldn't believe my ears and thought, “Why did I ever think that Breeze was my best friend?”

Heartbroken,

Milly

Dear Milly,

I'm so sorry to hear how harshly you were treated.

As difficult as what I am about to suggest will be for you, I can’t emphasize enough that you must take control of the situation and absent yourself from the two of them. It would help if you showed them that you have no desire to associate with rude dogs and will not tolerate being dismissed.

If, after a time, Breeze and Rags realize they miss you and want you to be their friend you should insist they apologize. I also recommend the three of you have a conversation about the importance each of you brings to the other and how you will treat one another in the future.

If it turns out they don’t reach out to you, you need to ask yourself if Breeze is the kind of dog you want to have as a best friend forever. If the friendship can’t be restored, I suggest Rags’ mom must be informed that she needs to make other arrangements for Rags’ transportation to the park.

Best,

Frankie