Pearl News

A Report on the Activities of the Teeny Weeny, Turquoise Greeny, Stringy Bikini’s Halloween Adventures by Callyn Reese Clark (age 9) in collaboration with Grammie Clark (don’t you dare ask!):

As you have probably already surmised, the Stringy Bikini struck again on Halloween night in the Pearl vicinity. The neighbors who saw the escapade were shocked and stunned. It all began when the atrocious apparel escaped from what Pearlites thought was its secure confines in the Pearl Cottage Bookstore. Alas, no.

Once the confounded costume detected that Kay Pruett was driving through the area, the escape ensued. Poor Kay was overtaken by the contemptuous contraption as the reprehensible rag attached itself to the helpless victim. Now the silly suit had complete control of poor, dear Kay Dean. Suddenly, Kay magically entered one of the structures in Pearl and grabbed all of the bathroom tissue she could find—this happening beyond her control. The next thing she knew, Kay was frolicking through the sleepy street, throwing tremendous amounts of snow-white paper onto every surface in the Pearl community… except for the cemetery. The only reason Kay did not TP the cemetery is because she knew her friend Linda was patrolling the area to protect it from possible ghosts, goblins and apparitions, never suspecting her partner-in-crime, Kay, would encroach upon the site.

But, as Kay had no control over her actions due to the horrible haunting creation that had attached itself to her, Kay floated onto the cemetery walls with reckless abandon. Callyn and her adoring Grammie just happened to be nearby and saw the most unbelievable chaos they had ever witnessed and were scared to death (no pun intended). What did they see? According to the trembling granddaughter, Callyn, reported that Linda, wanting to protect the area, went into action, defending the cemetery with brute strength. Kay and the stringy bikini advanced toward Linda, planning auspicious offense. Linda, in counterattack, yelled at the top of her lungs that she is going to grab that Stringy bikini and sell it at her next auction. Suddenly Kay begins to laugh hysterically, and the bikini then detaches itself from her and drifts off to places unknown. (Kay reported that her laughter stemmed from the hilarious notion that Linda, about to meet her demise in the Pearl Cemetery by the hands of the Teeny Weeny, Turquoise Greeny, Stringy Bikini, is only thinking of planning another danged auction!)

The next thing we knew, daylight began peeping over the horizon. The bath tissue magically disappeared, and Kay and Linda magically located themselves in their own blissful beds with no memory of the previous evening’s antics. Pearl was once again back to normal… and the bad bikini was never to be heard from again. Who knew that all it took to rid the peaceful little village of the raging rag was to threaten another Linda Ray auction. There’s no place like Pearl!

And now for the “Un-fake” News:

Coming up: Nov. 13 is the Pearl Thanksgiving Meal. This will take place at the Pearl Community Center at noon. Preceding the meal will be a community-wide church service at the center at 10 a.m. with Tony Cleaver speaking. For the meal, the turkey, ham, and dressing will be provided. You are welcome to bring a dessert/side dish if you wish. Everyone is invited to attend.

This week’s Bible Verse: “Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the people of the world revere Him. For He spoke, and it came to be; He commanded, and it stood firm.” Psalm 33: 8.9 NIV

Be sure to like the Pearl Community Center, Texas Facebook page. Please send any Pearl news to betsyclark47@yahoo.com