Tuesday, December 10, 2024
Families seem to have certain traditions when it comes to the holidays. Some clans gather at Grandma’s house to eat the same meal, year after year. People seem to want and need to have the same meal. They want the green bean casserole, the candied yams, and the holiday pies, which most of us eat at no other time of the year. The consistency of the celebration is comforting in the ever-changing world in which we live. Knowing you will see the same faces around the table and reminisce over the same family stories while watching football before or after the meal is something that can be counted on. We depend on it, crave it, and seek it.
For the years I was in the horse business, I would spend Thanksgiving in Oklahoma City at the National Reining Horse Futurity. The futurity has traditionally been the sport’s biggest event with people traveling from all 50 states and some 25 different countries to participate. Because of the size of the show, the event starts Thanksgiving Day, which means all the vendors, participants, and fans are far away from home on that special day. Many tend to their horse show responsibilities and then come together for a mass dinner, which the NRHA arranges. While I think it was a great idea to have a dinner catered on the grounds, I would always leave the fairgrounds and go to Furr’s Cafeteria.
I was far away from my kids and folks on these Thanksgivings. They understood I was working, and it was necessary for me to be gone, but part of me always wished we could all be together. From this loneliness, I started my own tradition of going to Furr’s and “finding a friend.” By that I mean I would go to Furr’s, go through the line for food, and then find someone who was sitting alone and ask if I could sit with them. I know that sounds a little crazy, but then again, maybe not.
I would scour the room looking for someone who was older and alone. The room was always full of families eating, but there would be several people who would be sitting by themselves. The first year I approached an elderly lady and asked if she would mind some company. Maybe it was my cowboy hat, the smile I gave her, or even the tone of my voice, but she instantly smiled and said, “Why sure, are you alone, too?” I explained why I was in Oklahoma City and how I was taking a break from the horse show to eat a Thanksgiving meal. She informed me she was a widow with no children, and, while friends had asked her to come eat for the holiday, she felt like she would be intruding on their family meal, so she had decided to eat her Thanksgiving meal by herself.
She told me about her husband, how they had moved around the country as he had served in the military, and they had finally settled in Oklahoma. She had been an elementary school teacher and regaled me with one story after the other of her humorous and sometimes ornery students. We visited for almost an hour - long after our food was gone. I picked up her check with mine and told her I wanted to treat her to her meal. She asked me why I would buy a meal for a stranger, and I told her, “You’re not a stranger. Now we’re friends.”
I continued this tradition for nearly 10 years until my fortunes changed and I left the horse business. For each of those years, my “new friend” had their own unique background and story which was unknown to me before I sat down. The brief moments we shared will always be treasured. I believe all those folks were lonely and in need of some simple human companionship. I came away with an appreciation of the lives lived by others and feeling like a person’s Thanksgiving had been made better. My new friends also filled a void in my heart.
I sure do miss some traditions.
Thought for the day: Sometimes reaching out to someone is the beginning of an amazing journey and on other occasions, it allows others to enjoy your journey.
Until next time … I will keep ridin’ the storm out!
