Friday, March 29, 2024

This dog’s got the shampoo blues

Posted

Dear Frankie,

How would humans like it if hairdressers washed their hair with dog shampoo? They wouldn't. Neither do dogs like it when groomers wash them with human lavender shampoo and spray them with lavender perfume. It upsets me how humans think dogs like being treated as children, dressing us up, carrying us around in pocketbooks, or parading us around in a baby stroller. I know we are lucky to have wonderful human families. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. But I'm a dog, and I don't like the smell of lavender shampoo and spray, nor do I like the weeks it takes to get back to the scent of my old doggy self. Am I alone on this?

Disgruntled,

Henry

Dear Henry,

I see from your picture on the letterhead that you are a beagle. Beagles are known for their acute sense of smell. That's what makes them excellent hunting dogs.

Can you imagine hunting in this day and age? If ever there was a despicable human activity for recreation, this is it. But that's a topic for another column. Excuse the digression.

Sorry about the lavender. This is an example of when that sniffer of yours doesn't serve you well. Here are some ways to make the smell less noticeable. When you are outside, roll around on the grass, or if it's winter, the snow. On rainy days, ask to go out more often. I realize walks in inclement weather can be unpleasant but being rained on is as close as you will get to a bath. If you walk in a park, go under low bushes, pines if you can find them, and brush against the leaves or needles. When at home, pull wet bathroom towels onto the floor, lay upside down on them and wiggle. You could also sleep by the garbage can or nap on top of old toys or blankets you have slobbered on for years.

I think you get the idea – rub out the bad smells, hang out by strong good smells. None of these strategies will restore your natural scent in a few days. If you keep at it, however, it should get better. Sorry, I don't have quick or better solutions to offer.

Best,

Frankie