Why have some past norms in our society become no longer normal?

FROM MY FRONT PORCH 

Why have some past norms in our society become no longer normal? 

SAM HOUSTON 

Sam Houston is the publisher of the Hood County News. He is also an actor, author, playwright, performer and entertainment producer/promoter. 

Social norms are an intricate part of any culture. The world needs standards. Those standards provide people with a platform as to what is expected from them.  At some level, each resident who conforms to those standards makes a small concession of their “personal freedom,” but for most of us, conforming is simply the right thing to do. It is what makes our society a pleasant and happier place to live. 

Wait a minute! I know we are in Texas, and I do not want anyone to think I am advocating the state take away personal rights or constitutional freedoms. I am referring to the little things people do to conform in order to create a polite and functional society.  Little things like males opening the door for a lady or giving up your seat so a lady may sit down. Respecting your teachers, showing kindness to old people, and not cutting in line at a crowded theater or restaurant. There are thousands of examples from extending your hand to shake when meeting a stranger to maintaining good personal hygiene. All those ritualistic sorts of things we do to be good to our neighbor, and for the world we live in to be a kinder and more orderly place. 

Over the past 10 years I have noticed more and more societal norms falling apart. Where once tattoos were frowned upon, they are now common, and not just among the young. At one time, to wear tattered jeans out in public would have been an embarrassment, and now they are manufactured that way. Once upon a time when a relationship came to an end, there was the dreaded “breakup meeting,” where one party would inform the other and give their reasons why the relationship was ending. I understand that today, many of those meetings are held by text! I am not making a judgment on these societal changes, simply noting change is always occurring. 

I had a long talk with myself and asked if I was simply “old” and thinking the world was going to hell simply because it was evolving. While sitting on my deck staring out at the water, I determined my thoughts were not the paranoia of some old guy fearing change. I would like to think I welcome societal change that improves our world, and appreciate each successive generation must find its own way. No, the change that concerns me is a change that goes to the very heart of each one of us — and I see it slowly and surely, slipping away. Whatever happened in our world to make it less kind and more confrontational? 

The more I reflected, the more disturbed I became. What I came to conclude was so much of this deterioration comes from our leadership. Politics has always been a hostile and dirty business but somewhere along the line, civility went out the window. No longer can two people have different views on an issue and remain friends. Instead, one casts the other as the “enemy.” How does that make sense and how is that healthy for our society? What happened to listening to the other side and trying to understand? When you only know one side of an issue you are only half smart. Wouldn’t it be better to find out what we can agree on and move from there? 

Our political leaders have a strategy. They make outrageous statements in order to get a response from voters via donations to their favorite fundraising vehicle. The truth is, many politicians plan their outrageous and inflammatory statements around their fundraising, knowing the more dramatic the statement, the more enraged their audience will be and the more money they will receive. This is not leadership; it is a grift. Let me be clear, this happens on both sides of the aisle. The politicians put their own self-interest above those they serve, and they motivate their followers in order to best serve their interests and not the country. This filters down from the national level all the way to local politics.  

For many, many years our national motto was “E. Pluribus Unum” — “out of many one,” We celebrated our differences and how we as a country contained many different cultures, different backgrounds, and different views of how the world should be. We talked with each other and worked to understand each other, and most importantly, found ways to compromise. Our founding fathers set up our system of government based on the idea compromise was essential to good government, and probably brought about the best course of action for society. They knew extreme ideas were seldom best whether they came from the left or the right. 

I am afraid this divide is worse than simply seeing politics differently. Our people have divided into polarized groups who not only advocate their position is the “only position,” but are unwilling to talk, negotiate, or come off their position. When people in their own party disagree, there are outcasts and vilified as some sort of traitor to the cause. Where does it end?  

Our country has many serious issues to face. The problems need to be addressed by all of us working together, looking for a solution rather than seeking political gain or political blame. It seems to me it makes little difference how we got to where we are. We could spend the rest of eternity arguing about that, and what would we gain?  What we need are solutions, and those solutions need to be in the form of action that best serves the entirety of our country. It should start with the end of name calling and blame shifting. Let’s start with kindness and a willingness to try and understand the other side.  

If we don’t act soon, our new norm will be utter turmoil and our own destruction. Do your part to try kindness first and work to solve problems, not try and make the most noise and further divide us. Lets make that the new norm! 

Thought for the day; One of the toughest things for leaders to master is kindness. Kindness shares credit and offers enthusiastic praise for other’s work. It is a balancing act between being genuinely kind and not looking weak. Travis Bradberry 

Until next time…I will keep ridin’ the storm out! 

sam@hcnews.com | 817-573-7066, ext. 260